Straight Girls and Gay Porn

I must admit to being a bit of a porn aficionado. Now, I don't think that in-and-of-itself is all that odd. However, I was recently informed by a male friend scanning my rather large collection that it's just not normal for a straight girl to have so much in the way of gay male porn. I had to correct him because it's not just gay porn, a lot of it is bisexual porn (which is my favorite when done right).

I got to thinking about it and I really don't see how it's all that strange. I find men attractive. Therefore, I like watching hot men fuck. So why would I *not* like watching them fuck each other? And of course, it's even better when there's a girl in there getting her fair share of the attention because then there's room for the imagination to roam a bit more. There's just nothing better than being in a tangle of arms and legs with two hot guys who aren't the least bit concerned about whether their tingly bits happen to touch. (And any girl who has ever been DP'd by two homophobic guys can tell you just how annoying it is to have to keep her own hand between her legs just to keep the guys from accidentally rubbing against each other. It will kill all the fun of that gloriously dirty play very quickly!)

When I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time in gay clubs and at the gay park in the closest big city (which wasn't all that close). It was a great place for me. I was usually the only girl there and most of the guys were gay. I could dance with whomever I wanted, let them grind against me, grope me, kiss me, and not worry about how far away I was from my male friend who came with me. And the bathroom experience was...well...an eye-opener. I learned more in that coed bathroom than I could have learned from years of straight sex. To say it made me doubt my own oral skills would be a bit of an understatement! So, I paid attention and then got the best I'd seen to talk me through it with my friend one night. Every man I've loved since has wanted to send a gift basket to him for being such a thorough teacher...

Don't even get me started on the first time I saw a man getting his salad tossed! It started this little spark inside me that would become a puckered love story for the ages that has made every man I've loved since beg for my hand in marriage...but I digress.

I think the gay porn market is missing out on some huge growth potential. I know several straight women who buy almost entirely gay porn. Of course, it's a matter of finding the right porn that's sometimes difficult. Personally, I like fairly masculine guys. And I'm not really into some of the more shall we say *intense* scenes. (Like if it involves rubber gloves and a bucket 'o lube, it just hurts me to watch!) However, it seems that the more hair a man has on his chest, the more likely the porn is to involve a lot of really hardcore stuff. That makes it difficult selecting the right movies. And where gay or bisexual porn is concerned, you really don't want to buy the wrong thing because it costs twice as much as straight porn or lesbian porn. I suppose they pay their talent more, but if the production companies would lower their prices just a little, it would probably bring in a lot more revenue when all was said and done.

Most hetero porn has become so couples-based that it's more like watching Showtime or Cinemax than porn. So something tells me that a lot more straight people (women in particular) are going to start gravitating to gay porn. Maybe it's the taboo factor that appeals to me. Or maybe it's like revisiting my youth. Or maybe I'm just weird. Or all of the above...who really cares? Where sexuality is concerned, anyone not residing somewhere in the grey area is just going to get bored/boring very quickly...

Embracing the Grey

In my thirty-three years on this planet, I've come to the conclusion that there are two types of people--those that are only capable of seeing things in black and white and those that see all the different shades of grey. There's nothing quite like spending a little time with someone who only sees black and white to make you appreciate the ability to see more than that. I've found that most things of beauty and pleasure reside somewhere inside the grey.

Not every question has a yes or no answer. Not every argument has a right side and a wrong side. Not every fight has a good and an evil. I believe the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the grey. (Maybe that's why I always did better on essay questions than true/false questions in school.) That's not to say that there aren't some unquestionable black and white issues for people, myself included. But the older I get, the more grey appears in my view of the world.

A guy I used to know once told me that everything under the sun was black and white. He said that the people who saw a bunch of grey in the world were really just incapable of making a decision and sticking to it. Well, that statement bothered me--and not just because it's a common trait seen in sociopaths, although that did immediately pop into my mind. But really it made me sad because it made me realize that there are probably a lot of people out there with the same notion of decisiveness. Being so rigid in your views is not a good thing. It forces you do away with basic human emotions like empathy and compassion. If everything must fall into a category of right or wrong, good or evil, then that applies to people as well. And people are nothing if not falliable. If you belong to the all black and white camp though, just trying to be a good person is not enough. And that's too much pressure for a human being. There has to be some leeway for putting forth the effort even if you fall short in the end.

However, the world opens up to all sorts of beauty if you allow yourself to see and experience the grey. Anytime a person backs themselves into a box of black and white they are limiting the experiences they will have in this world, or at least the enjoyment of those experiences. So, I try not to impose random limitations on myself. I have my basic core beliefs and a desire to be a good person, but aside from that, I try to keep myself open to new things. And I think in most circumstances it's not what you do that ultimately matters, it's the reason you do it and the intentions you had at the time.

At the end of the day, I believe the most fullfilling life only comes when you learn to embrace the grey.